Dating

So I've been on a few dates, and a couple of days ago I had the pleasure of third-wheeling on my friend's date.

I want to go over with you guys what I know from experience.

The first rule of dating is that you are NOT in a (you can define the term) committed relationship with the person you go on a date with. In middle/high school the trend seems to be that you have to ask the person to be your boy/girlfriend first, and THEN you go on dates. To me, that seems really restricting and involuntary, and I'm a Mormon. That kind of relationship may make you feel obligated to call/text/reach that person every day of your life, which can lead to redundancy and a quicker loss of interest. You'll probably come off as annoying and clingy, which is something I'd assume is undesirable. Anyways, I'm here to say that relationships like that don't work, and that I think you'd be better off to get to know the person by fun and quality one-on-one time. Or in other words, a date.

Dating has unlimited possibilities. You and the person you're with can do whatever you want, from eating to exercising. If you want to work on that fitness, OK. If you want to stay in and watch a movie, OK. If you don't want to spend money, OK. go to the park. If you want to spend all of your money as a romantic gesture, make sure that your date knows that. If you want other people (probably other couples) to be there, that's OK too.

Double dating comes with other philosophies. You shouldn't double date if you know that you will compare your date to the other couples you're with. It will most likely end in disappointment, because you're focusing your attention on something that doesn't matter. You go on dates for yourself, not for the other couple(s) that are with you. If you're having a bad date, the couples around you shouldn't feel dragged down by what you're doing. If you're having an amazing date, the couples around you shouldn't feel inferior. No one can stop you from having a good time.

It's a general rule that the more dates you go on, the more likely you are to marry someone that you like. A lot. I'm not saying that you can't find the right guy on your first go, but I'm saying that you'll be more convinced that he is the right one for you if you have a general idea of what you want/don't want. For some people, manners don't matter. For others, intelligence doesn't matter. No one can give you an exact format, because it probably won't be specific to your personality. We're all different, and a part of that means that you're going to have to do some digging if you want to make yourself happy. It's a good time for you to be selfish.

The next rule is that you shouldn't feel like you need to hold hands/kiss/touch the person that you're on a date with. If you and your date decide that that is what you want, awesome. Go ahead. But if you're like me, you won't be comfortable with it until about the third date or so.

Another rule is that it's OK to say no. Saying no means that either
1. You're busy
2. You don't have the means
3. You aren't in the mood
4. You can't find something about that person that makes you want to date them.
For number four, I HIGHLY suggest that you think hard. Because that person probably thought about it quite a bit. Because they don't want to be rejected. Unless they do, which makes them a terrible person and you should get away from them.

The last rule is that it is 100% totally inarguably OK to date your best friend. Hopefully you are thinking long-term with your dates, and are choosing people that you might want to marry. Dates with your best friend don't have to be romantic. Dates with your best friend will probably be some of the best dates you go on. Dates with your best friend will probably be the times when your relationship grows the most.

OK GO!